Teeth

Persistent nausea washed over Sue as she brushed her teeth.  She leaned against the small counter feeling like she was going to lose consciousness and looked at her nighmarish reflection in the mirror.  What the hell is happening to me?  Is this cancer?  I better make a call to Dr. Becker when I get to work.

She had been feeling ill for two months now. Thinking it was just a side effect of her new thyroid medicine, she brushed it off, certain it would get better.  She was not one to rush to the doctor for every little inconvenience.  But her headaches and nausea were worsening and all the energy she had just a few months ago seemed to be diminishing.  As she put her toothbrush in the lighthouse themed cup, she heard Tom noisily fixing himself something in the kitchen.

“Sue!  Where’s the goddamned mayo?!” He demanded, slamming cupboard and refrigerator doors.  She didn’t want to answer.  She was having trouble focusing while getting groceries, and every item she’d forgotten he was quick to let her know how much of a failure she was.  She pretended she couldn’t hear him as a pain took over her stomach, doubling her over and making the blood rush to her ears.

“Sue!” he shouted angrily as he shoved the bathroom door open to see why she wasn’t answering his request.  “What the hell are you doing?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I think my appendix is bad.” She said, changing the subject.

“Your goddamned appendix is fine. Quit whining you little baby. Where’s the mayo?” He furled his brown and demanded she tend to his question instead of her pain.  Tears started to well up in her eyes as the pain was becoming so unbearable she feared she might pass out.  She couldn’t trust what he’d do to her if she lost consciousness in front of him; as it was she was almost afraid to go to sleep at night.  She took a deep breath in effort to keep from losing consciouness.

“You didn’t get the mayo did you?  Stupid bitch!  You smell like a homeless bum!  Did you brush your teeth?”  Still unable to stand upright she dropped to her knees as saliva and tears dripped from her face to the bathroom tile.  Why did he care if she brushed her teeth?  A terrifying moment washed over her as she wondered if he was poisoning her.  The past two months he had been worse than ever, taunting her and bullying her to the point she had considered a divorce for the first time in their 28 years together.  She could put up with a lot but lately it had been unbearable.  The thought of it made her more mad than she had ever been and for the first time in their marriage she spoke back to him. With what little strength she had left she spat, “Yes I brushed my goddammed teeth.  Now stop bitching about the fucking mayo and let me get to work you lazy bastard!”  The act of standing up for herself gave her a sudden burst of energy and she lept up and ran out of the house before he could realize what she had said.

She peeled out of the driveway, dialing her boss as she turned familiar corners.  She needed to make a stop on the way to work, she let her boss know, and she would be a few minutes late.  She pulled up to the drugstore and dragged her limp legs down the tiny aisle to the toothbrushes.  She quickly found the one that matched her current toothbrush, it had to be the exact same one.  She grabbed at her burning stomach as she paid and promptly left for work.

She arrived at the medical clinic where she worked and before she got inside she felt tears flowing down her cheeks.  As much as the place caused her stress, she felt like her coworkers were her second family and she trusted them more than most people she had known in her 56 years.  When she got inside her boss Dan was eating a snack by the sink.  He greeted her cheerfully before looking up from his snack to see what shape she was in.  Her face tear-stained and overcome with the wrinkles from losing so much weight, hair a mess from not being able to finish getting ready this morning, she was clenching the toothbrush in her hand as if her life depended on it.

“Suzie, what’s wrong?” He said in concern as he made his way to her.  She fell into his arms and allowed the embrace to comfort her as she sobbed into his chest.  “I think my husband is poisoning me!”

“What?!  What?!  How do you know?!”  He pulled her away to look into her eyes

“You know I have been sick for the past 2 months and he has been treating me so horribly for that same amount of time.  And today he got mad at me and said horrible things to me, then he asked if I brushed my teeth.  In 28 years of marriage he has never asked me that question before.”

“Suzie! We have to call the police!”

“No!  First we have to get proof. I bought a new toothbrush just like the one I have at home.  Tonight after he goes to sleep I will put old toothbrush in a ziplock and sneak it out so it can be sent to the lab.  Then I’ll put the new toothbrush in the cup so he doesn’t know I’m onto him.  Once we get proof I will call the police.”

“Oh my God, Suze!  You’re going to be famous and quit working here I just know it!” Dan joked, trying to lighten the mood.  “Seriously, whatever you need I am here for you.  You can crash on my couch if you need or if you want me to go with you to the police…I will put in a special request for the labwork once you bring the toothbrush.  And if you need time off don’t even worry about it.”

“Thanks Dan!  I don’t know what I would do without this place and having you as a boss!”

“Good.  Now get punched in get to work, slave!”  He said, again trying to lighten the mood.  It did make Sue feel better knowing she has something stable in her life. She was going to need that going forward through whatever battle she was facing.

She made the swap out of the toothbrush at 2:30 in the morning, while she pretended to be throwing up, which was not nearly as easy as it sounds.  She had pretended to brush her teeth at bedtime, wetting her brush and making spitting sounds so Tom wouldn’t catch on and realize she wasn’t getting her evening dose of poison.  Once she had the new toothbrush in place she slid the old one inside her tampon box, a place he didn’t ever touch, ready for the next day when she’d pretend she was needing to bring the tampons to work.  She’d been in menopause for 2 years but didn’t tell Tom because she found it an easy excuse to not have sex with him.

She slid back in bed, unable to fall back to sleep.  How could someone do this to the person he said he loved?  What if it really is cancer instead of him poisoning me?  I will leave his ass and fight the cancer on my own.  Fuck, he’s a cancer that’s what.  She had to stiffle a chuckle at that, and used a fake cough to cover.  I’m turning into a pretty good liar too, honey.

In the morning she got ready as usual, noticing a slight improvement in her energy level, and less nausea already.  She had to pretend to be sick and she pretended to brush her teeth, planning ahead to brush them at work.  She came out of the bathroom with her supply of tampons, and shoved them and the toothbrush into her oversized bag that she brings to work.

“How you feeling this morning?” Tom had asked, without looking at her.

“Like I’m going to throw up, just like always.” She lied, letting her eyelids stay half-open to keep up the farse.

“Maybe you need to quit that job of yours.  All those chemicals they use in that clinic can’t be good for you.  We have plenty of money to retire.  Unless you are having an affair and that’s why you stay…”

“Stop your nonsense!  I don’t have the energy for an affair.  I told you, Dr. Mason needs me, I’m the only one she trusts.”  He made mimicing sounds to irritate her and she left without bothering to hear the rest.  On her drive to work she had a giant cup of coffee, the first time in months her stomach could stand the thought of it, and the caffeine coursing through her veins made her feel alive for the first time in weeks.  When she pulled into her parking spot, Dan was waiting at the back door for her.   She looked him in the eyes and smiled.  “Got it!”

“Yes!  Let’s do this!”